I feel so much better after a nice warm bath, thanks gnet. Guess exchange is a really good opportunity to learn to be on your own, and be thrown out of your comfort zone. Stuck in this city fraught with consumerism, alcoholism, vandalism, weird regulations, smoke and racist perspectives, I have to learn to cope with everything just coming at me like a blizzard. An awful reality to bear. Like the potter and his clay, it needs to be molded into perfection.

8.45pm Tues 17/1

i wonder if i'm yanking so hard on the cord it's about to break n there's tension because i'm pulling too hard yet at the same time not wanting it to break. the fear of everything is just driving me nuts but it'll get better.